Watch unsafe Turkish boating at its best! Boat safety is the most important kind of safety to anybody who is on or near a boat. Perhaps the only kind of safety more important than boat safety is fire safety. But unlike wood, water can't burn and boats go on water so that is usually not a problem. One of the few situations where you have to worry about boat safety and fire safety at the same time is when you are driving a speedboat through a burning hoop to impress Russian bikini babes at your weekend home in the Crimea. In fact, that is a time when you have to worry about another kind of safety, and that is skank butt safety, but we can't show that on YouTube so you are going to have to go do some independent googling.

Anyway, if you find yourself lacking in speedboats and Russian bikini babes, then a close second would be a 3,000-ton car ferry and a dockload of Turkish stevedores. They might not have the boobs or the blond hair of Russian babes, but the important thing is that they put out and there's no shortage of them. So climb into your drive-on drive-off ferry and gun it! When you see that ramp coming up, you're going to want to put your wallet in your mouth and bite down hard, in case the impact causes you to hit your head on the ceiling. You wouldn't want to bite your tongue off again.

As your ferry is taking the ramp at its max speed of 9 knots, you may take this time to consider a few things your physics teacher said in 10th grade. "When you are trying to jump a boat, you must always remember the Pythagorean theorem! Pythagoras taught us that Russian babes are totally into guys who can jump major boat. Also, they know when you're wearing fake Ray Bans, so don't even try and fool them. If you can afford a boat you can afford some real F-ing sunglasses, come on. Don't be a tool."

Also, Pythagoras died in gnarly boat accident. Look it up.

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