Mary at an early age
cried each night and loudly
father put her in a cage
showed the cage off proudly.

Well the cage did not fulfill
what they had intended,
mother thus gave her a pill
and the trouble ended.

But, you guessed it, Mary slept
through her basic urges,
when before she had just wept
now she had the purges.

Purges, just in case you ask
are what folks attend to
picky ones might wear a mask
those from Sacramento.

Thus, when Mary's parents woke
fumes hung near the ceiling
father fainted, had a stroke
mother showed less feeling.

Ambulance took Dad away
Mother cleaned the cacca,
she was in no mood to stay
moved to Port-O-Laca.

Little Mary grew inspite
up to be a looker,
now a lady of the night,
some would call her hooker.

Twenty seven years she slept
with a huge selection,
men felt sorry if she wept
over their erection.

Mary had a lengthy life
never saw a doctor,
took a floozy as a wife,
though the gender knocked her.

Balance is what Mary sought
contrast to the many suitors,
men were dumb, had to be taught
how to use their hooters.

Mary did retire then,
age four scores and twenty
had a party with two men
and they hooted plenty.

Herbert Nehrlich

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mary-s-predicament/