Down amongst the cabbages,
In amongst the peas,
Trying to get their five-a-day
To keep the Government pleased.

Over by the whiskey,
Comfortable by the wine,
They've got to count their units
To keep their livers fine.

Sweating at their keep fit club,
Jogging at the track,
Keeping up their pulse rates
To stop a heart attack.

Working on their midriffs,
They're cutting out the fat,
They're careful with the sugar,
Do pushups on the mat.

Me - I drink my brandy,
Eat chocolate daily as a a treat,
I'll try some fruit much later
When I've eaten my red meat.
I toast all health fanatics,
Even those who race upon the track,
Then light another cigarette -
The last one in the pack!

Joe Hughes visit joehughes.org.uk

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/health-fanatics/