My life is in front of me
I do not possess the skill to pass judgment on myself
I can only paint a sketch of it
I ran after happiness and thought I found it
When she looked at me something passed from her to me
I was never the type to cling to anything
But when I Iost her I lost half of myself
I sit calm as time is dying dropp by drop
As if life had no value
I have never looked at death in the eye
Though I had all my life to do so
Does everything end?
The sun casts nervous shadows on the wall as I sit on my
Bed turned tomb
I want to bebrave but I don’t know how
My destination seems so far away in a dimension with no name
I soak up time as the evening does the dun
I weep with pity for myself
But with no intention of it being an errand of mercy
How does a solitary man attain himself?
The only sin I’ve committed was lack of imagination
As I prepare to dive into the darken depths of death
As I fumble with container of multi-colored death inducers
I tremble to untrack the safety cap
In despair the cotton slips from the grasp of my fingertips
And is pushed in to the narrow neck closing off the mouth of death
Shutting off what may have been my last breath
I laughed so hard I cried

Alfred Ramos

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/my-last-suicide-note/