Michael Portillo's his name, he's a nice chap
Always has Bradshaw's guide on his lap
As he travels up and down the track
Asking questions, getting answers back

When he gets off, he tightens his laces
Then stays in some really strange places
His quest - to see Britain by train
Then probably go back home again

Paul Gerard Reed

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/portillo-on-the-rails/