I'm attempting to be nouveau
and trying to update
all my culinary skills
to our modern ways.

I really don't like swearing
but chefs, these days all swear,
I'm trying hard to master it
but I don't really care

for I'm becoming expert
at cooking in the nude
and though it can be messy
it feels so very cool.

Before I use my mixing bowl
I discard skirt and top
stockings slip down easily
and then the rest comes off.

Whipping cream is easy
but makes an awful mess
it flies about all over me
and lands upon my - chest

Of course I take a shower
after every single dish
But I must say that it's worth it
being naked and a chef

Before I use my mixing bowl
I discard skirt and top
stockings slip down easily
and then the rest comes off.

Ruth Walters

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/the-naked-chef-poem-lyrics/