I think one of the reasons people aren’t more
devout is that going to church is such a chore.
Maybe you and I can think up some ways to
make church attendance more enticing. How
about having the pastor ride a mechanical bull
on the pulpit? You know, like John Travolta in
Urban Cowboy. I don’t think that was one of his
better movies, by the way. He was good in Pulp
Fiction, where Samuel Jackson recites a Bible
passage before shooting that guy. That sure
made the Bible passage have impact. See,
that’s what I’m talking about. Impact. Excitement.
Drama. That’s what church needs more of.

Maybe volunteers could dress up in devil suits
and curse and scream at parishioners as they
make their way in to church. They could yell
things like, “No, don’t go in there! Stay outside
and do some drugs! ” That would sure wake
people up. It would at least be good for a laugh.
Either way, the church benefits. Of course there
will always be some grouchy members of the
congregation who raise a fuss about the whole
thing. Just ignore them. Party poopers.

Professor Poetry Hound

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/mechanical-bull/