Oh, great! Here he comes again
Look out if you can.
It’s not a bird, it’s not a plane
It’s Midlife Crisis Man.

His shirt unbuttoned to his waist
An earring in his ear
His outfit is in such poor taste
But he’s unaware, I fear.

For he believes that he looks good
In his shiny red sports car
Date 18-year-olds if he could
‘Cause he thinks he’s a star.

His thinning hair is pulled back tight
In a tiny ponytail
His Chicklet teeth are extra white
Thanks to dentist, Dr. Dale.

Is that Abba booming
From his spendy amplifier?
Through traffic he is zooming
This 70s personifier.

His style surely does confound
His behavior’s controversial
Acting the fool he prances ‘round
Like that guy in the Bowflex commercial.

You know the one of which I speak
I think he’s forty-one
“Slammin’ with twentysomethings” on the beach
His skin tan from the sun.

What happened to humility?
Of vanity I’m no fan.
For me desirability
Is not Midlife Crisis Man.

I like my men kind and real.
With big hearts and love to spare.
Obsession with themselves holds no appeal
With me they have no prayer.

So if you think of nothing more
Than looks and weight you can
Be sure to others you’re a bore
Like Midlife Crisis Man.

(2/11/06)

Inspired by...well, maybe it's better not to say. lol

Shannon Chapel

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/midlife-crisis-man/