Sure! How about 'If you're looking for Amanda, you may notice she's not currently at her desk. She is searching for her mind, which is probably lost somewhere in a sea of e-mails, documents, and spreadsheet columns. She may or may not be found in the Copy Center looking for it, as she has had very minimal luck finding it elsewhere.'

'She will, however, be checking her messages periodically throughout happy hour, so please feel free to leave a voicemail at the beep to which she will respond between the hours of 6 and 8: 30 P.M. with a kind, slightly slurred 'Go to hell.''

'Thank you for your patience and sympathy in Amanda's time of loss.'

Amanda Lukas

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/and-now-you-want-me-to-write-an-away-message/