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Police responded to reports of fighting and shots fired at Frenchman's Bar Park in Vancouver on Thursday night and we've got video of the rowdy Frenchmen and Canadians in question! Except we're actually talking about Vancouver, Washington, which puts this fashion conscious brawl squarely in the US of A. There's also no Frenchmen, no Canadians, and no bar.

Apparently, a large party was going on in Frenchman's Bar park during the day. A couple named Mr. and Mrs. Fuss (I kid you not!) who were interviewed by local news station KOIN6, said they smelled marijuana and that's "Not appropriate!".

Anyway, the fight video features a shirtless gentleman in leopard print pants and no shirt fighting a very very bald man who is desperate to keep his hat on, but isn't wearing shoes. Although the leopard print guy is clearly the more aggressive fighter, he can barely stand up and trips left and right all over the grass. We think his problem is restricted blood flow to his legs due to fashionable pants.

However, his opponent the Dave Matthews roadie meets Bill from King of the Hill, has no such problem, keepin' it flowy in his beater and ankle socks. But when a bystander knocks his dignity defending hat off bald-guy goes berzerk.

And the fight concludes with a sloppy KO for leopard pants guy, meaning it's time for the spectators to Instagram an ambulance. At least two dozen phones can be seen, but they're all used to take photos in portrait mode, nobody dials 911.

Thats when the video cuts out and shots were allegedly fired, causing both the Dave Matthews Band and the fancy-pants crowd to scatter. Police now patrol the park to ensure that nobody ever has any fun there from now on.