On Saturday morning at around 3 a.m., a New Jersey man was pulled over by police and charged with a range of offenses, from "unsafe tires" to drunk driving.

What the police fail to realize is that Michael Newmon, of Manchester New Jersey, was just trying to be efficient. In his badly inebriated state, Newmon accurately concluded that he really shouldn't be on the road. To that end, he decided to drive his plumber's truck in the most efficient manner possible, which every drunken schoolboy knows is a straight line. When a roundabout presented itself, Newmon resolved not to be deterred and continued on his way, straight through the forested circle.

His plan paid off, as he made it past the roundabout in record time, with the slight complication of his front tires going missing. No matter, the rims are still functional wheels, and they throw off an impressive amount of sparks so other drivers can see you clearly. The box of the truck also acquired a lot of additional branches, useful for camouflage in case of Soviet invasion. The only two truly unhelpful consequences of driving through the foliage were an utterly cracked windscreen and a roaring fire that started under the truck due to sparks from the front wheels.

Ever the problem solver, Newmon just sped up to try and put out the fire, hanging his head and left arm out of the window for increased visibility. When the police eventually pulled him over, they should not have penalized his drunkenness, but rather rewarded his ingenuity. Newmon is currently free on bail.

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