You know how they say that the drunk you is the real you? Well, Drunk Louis van Gaal is the man we’ve been waiting for, as we found out from his exceptionally entertaining speech to close out today’s Manchester United Player of the Year Awards.

One of the great things about being Dutch is that, when speaking English, no one can tell whether you are sober or drunk. But van Gaal isn’t just any Dutch person; he’s the kind of Dutch person who manages Ajax, Barcelona, Bayern Munich and Manchester United. He’s the kind of Dutch person who makes your eyes light up when you realize he’s probably ingested roughly 8,000 adult drinks and is on the verge of accepting bets to wrestle a rhino in the nude while backpacking through Southern Africa. I’m pretty sure saxophone lady can vouch for this.