Remember Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s ‘conscious uncoupling’?

Yeah, Katy Perry and Orland Bloom tried to top it.

By now you’ve heard that the couple has decided to split… since they were first linked back in 2016. And their statement is very one of a kind.

A rep for the stars said that ‘before rumors or falsifications get out of hand, we can confirm that Orlando and Katy are taking respectful, loving space at this time’.

We don’t know what exactly went wrong but we do know that we’re tired of official statements that don’t come out and explain what’s going on in plain English.

We didn’t like ‘conscious uncoupling’ and we don’t like ‘taking respectful and loving space’.

We would prefer they just say the couple fell out of love, doesn’t like each other, or just got tired of the way the other chews their food.

…instead of hiding behind silly new phrases.

Either way, it sounds like it’ll be a while before we ever see Katy and Orlando side by side again. We hope you’ll be able to manage.