Dear Stefan,

I am 40 years old from the UK. I am contacting you today because I would really like your help with regards to my relationships with the women in my life.

For years I have attempted to have long term and intimate relationships as more than anything, I really want to get married and have a family (and they will without a doubt be peaceful parented and loved!). But alas, I have never made it the fully pair bonded stage despite having several medium to long term relationships over the last 10 years. I have just turned 40 years old and despite having done years of Therapy and self development and thousands of hours of studying I am still having major issues with pair bonding and being a magnet for broken women, or women who seem to be in some form of crisis.

The second major issue which leads on from this is that my whole life I have been a constant rescuer and fixer and I find it incredibly difficult to split from a relationship even when it’s really not going to work, as I feel I will be hurting them at a vulnerable point in their life and I seem to sacrifice myself for them. This ultimately leads to me feeling stuck and trapped and experiencing side effects of anxiety and fatigue (which contributed to a major burnout in 2017)

I have listened to so many of your shows and I know this is wrong in many ways, especially as I don’t want to take their fertility window unnecessarily or haemorrhage anymore of my own time and resources.

Yet despite this level of self awareness which I have also developed through therapy (and I think its linked to my mother in some way), it is still a massive problem for me.

I still think there is something I am missing or not understanding properly and would love to get more clarity on this issue. I so often hear people on your shows say that you highlight things in a few hours that they didn’t realise in years of therapy and I am hoping you might be able to go a layer deeper with me to help me resolve this problem that is causing me so many problems.

Outside of this life is better, I am a dedicated Libertarian, Anarcho capitalist and Bitcoin advocate who has had several million views across all platforms on educational material I have created to help spread knowledge on Bitcoin.

I have spent years doing the hard work to turn my life around in every single way from a depressed, unmotivated, anxious, unconfident guy in my 20’s to a successful, much happier and confident person in my 30’s with much more or a purpose and mission.

But ultimately this is why I really need your help, I know I can be a great father and educator in this world and I don’t want to fall on such an important hurdle and throw away all my hard work by ending up with the wrong women and potentially breaking up a family. I know it would be something I would regret for ever if I do this and I feel like this is the way I am heading right now.

I am a long time listener of your show, donate often and I have huge admiration for ev