Most marriages fail because we have the wrong goal when we get married. We all have this goal to have an amazing marriage, a loving marriage, a godly marriage.

What we don’t realize is that if that’s our goal, when our spouse fails to love us—and they will, sometimes; and we will fail to love them, at times—then, we are going to get angry. It’s like, I am loving you and you are loving me so we can have an amazing marriage. But when we fail to do that, we intentionally withhold love from each other as some form of punishment.

The real goal should not be to have an amazing, godly marriage. Your goal should be to love your spouse and your spouse’s goal should be to love you.

My goal should be to love my wife whether my wife loves me or not. My real goal should not be to have an amazing marriage, my real goal is to be a loving husband. And if I do that fairly well, and she does that fairly well, then we end up with an amazing blessed marriage.

Make sure your goal isn’t something that is for you to have. Don’t think that you loving someone will get you what you want, because if you think that--and you love them so that they will give you what you want--you really don’t love them. Eventually they will figure that out, and you will too.

Think about it!

Trust God’s Word no matter what, because His word is truth.

Keep your eyes on the horizon.

You’ll understand more about this if you read my book, “The Right Fight: How To Live a Loving Life.” I spent seven years writing it. It will change your life. Order the book on Amazon and at shieldsofstrengInst.com .

And catch “The Right Fight” podcast now available on Google, Spotify and Apple podcast platforms under the name "The Right Fight.”

Kenny Vaughan