'Does my insurance company get to choose which one? '

1. No Smoking.
'These cigarette prices? I'll be through in a minute.'
2. Turn off engine and all electronics.
'Shit, there goes my pacemaker.'
3. Fill portable containers on the ground.
'As opposed to.......'
4. Discharge your static electricity before fueling.
'ok. In winter, I'll just take a cab everywhere.'
5. If a fire starts, do not remove nozzle.
'Who gets to tell NASA about the unscheduled launch? '
6. Never allow children to use pump.
'Hell, there goes 99% of your gas business! '
7. Do not leave pump unattended when pumping.
'Maybe the pump needs a shrink for anxiety/depression disorder.'

elysabeth faslund

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/failure-to-follow-these-warnings-could-cause-serious-injury-or-death-part-1-humor/