Partial Lyrics:

No Big Deal

Well I called up the local witch doctor
and they said, “I’ve never done this before”
I told them, “that’s no big deal,”
and put my money on the table
and they broke it in half and said,
"we don’t do this here,"
and I asked, "what do you actually take?"
and they provided very specific lists of medicines from a stolen prescription pad
that made me just more than a little confused,
but they covered me up in oil
and I laughed from all the tingling
as it seeped inside my skin
and pumped all these fluids deep inside of my brain
and I asked, “whoa is this all completely necessary,”

and they said, “who is in charge here,”
so I put myself into the clamps
and embraced all of the arm bands while listening to the explanation.
“Who elected your king,” I asked
but I doubt they heard me
because the haze was way too deep
and they started digging into my mouth
and removing all the unnecessary parts in between.
I told them they could shave off about fifty or sixty pounds,
maybe even a hundred if you can find a vat they can place my consciousness in
but the doctor said, “oh boy,
you’re way too radical for me my friend,”
and left me in my iron chains,
which is when I realized that this was a scam
to get me stuck with all these rent payments
so the landlady walks in
and starts spraying me with water
as if it is a painkiller.

She starts jabbing me with the needles
left on the table
as if this will make money pump out of my veins.
I can’t even pay the bill;
why do you think I’m even here?
All around the ground started to shake
and I realized we were living in a sinkhole,
which wasn’t too big of a deal though
because now at least the lights were turning off which I certainly appreciated.
The flames all around us reilluminated
my face and when
I looked in the mirror
I faced an aversion of my former self
and regarded the new future being trademarked
as I heard the scream and
asked what theme park I had gotten myself into.
Tuonela started laughing at me
and poured a whale river down my throat,
which boiled straight out of my nose.

Oh well I thought,
it isn’t really a big deal
and I rowed across in a tiny little boat
I found giving the peace sign to all those involved in the operation.
The wallpaper flew right past me
and I pursed my lips
and nodded while the machine next to me whirled
which caused my heart to drop
since it was counting the election total
and the party down here was already starting
so I asked for directions to the nearest exit
but I kept hopping on the wrong train
and had to jump the fare past the man trying to feed expired tickets through the machine,
which upset the ladies so much that they had him interred under the cemetery
that was put aside for the war criminals of the past five years,
which had gotten so packed
that I didn’t know what would happen to the land
until I talked to the lawyer who explained
that there was actually a loophole